Toughlove: It starts with You!

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to attend a Toughlove conference in Melbourne, Australia.  “Toughlove is a parent support group, run by parents for parents experiencing difficulties with their children”. 

The purpose of the two day conference was to provide information, training and motivation to nurture future leaders of Toughlove.  It was a weekend where I experienced many mixed emotions, however a writing exercise brought together my thoughts and experiences culminating into an epiphany of inspired personal growth.

Given the first part of the sentence, I wrote the following.

The period of time in my life began when . . . . . . .

I allowed myself to let my daughter go.

 I was reminded of this moment when the following discussion question was asked “How long does it take toughlove to work?”  One of the people in the group responded to the question with “It starts working when we let it.”

We cannot change our children but we can change ourselves, but we can only change ourselves when we are open and allow ourselves to change.  Toughlove provides a supportive, caring, non-judgemental environment where we can feel safe to slowly and gradually explore different ways to implement change in ourselves which subsequently elicits change in other people’s behaviour towards us.

One of my favourite quotes reflects this.

“Be the change you want to see in the world” Mahatma Gandhi

It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to let my daughter go that I was able to grow and move forward.  Letting my daughter make her own decisions and experience the consequences, both good and bad, of her decisions, gave us both personal power and released me from the guilt and powerlessness that I had been feeling.

Toughlove

Inspiring Teenagers - School Musical

The other night I was fortunate to attend a performance at my daughter’s school.   It was a great evening of entertainment by a group of fantastic teenagers in their showcase of “High-school Spoofical”, a take-off on High School Musical.  There were some great one liners and some standout performances by some who have incredible stage presence. The backing band was awesome and video and lighting were great.  I would like to congratulate the students, teachers, parents and others who were involved in the production.  I wish the students well in utilizing their talents in their future careers.  Well done Brisbane Christian College.

Inspiring Teenager - Feast or Famine

Guest Post: The following article has been written by a young 17 year old girl, Rachel Moore, who is passionate about reducing the incidence of obesity in Australia.  She is also concerned for people who are starving in Ethiopia.  Rachel, confronted by the dichotomy of the situation, decided to embark on the 40Hour famine to fundraise for families and communities in Ethiopia.

Her hard hitting article raises awareness of increasing levels of obesity in Australia and also highlights the plight of starving families in Ethiopia.

 For many years now there has been a rising concern about weight gain, unhealthy eating and lack of exercise. Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics indicates that in Australia in 1995, 56% of Adults in the country were classified as overweight or obese, and then in late 2007 to early 2008, that number rose to 61%.

So I guess the real question is why Australia is eating itself to death when there are so many people around the world dying because they can’t get enough food.  We can decide how much food we ingest but so many people don’t have that same choice that we do. That’s why this year I’ve decided to participate in the 40 hour famine and go almost 2 days without food to experience just 40hours of what a large percentage of people in Ethiopia are experiencing every single day. As well as this I’ve decided to go the 40hours without talking so that my dear friends and family don’t have to listen to my complaints about being hungry. My goal for sponsorship is to reach at least $1000, these funds go towards the 40hour famine charity which puts the money towards Ethiopia to build new irrigation schemes to water crops and fruit trees, to improve farming techniques, to provide support to raise dairy cows, chickens and other livestock and beehives to produce honey to eat and sell. The official 40hour famine guide states that just $40 can help feed a family of 5 for a month. Just imagine the impact that $1000 could have. When you think about it, a whole family could eat for a month with the money you would spend on 2 or 3 fast food meals. So ask yourself this, is it really worth spending all that money on something that’s slowly killing Australians with calories or would you rather spend the money on benefitting others less privileged?

Thank you for taking the time to read this article.  If you would like to sponsor me in the 40Hour Famine you can donate to my account.  Simply go to this link Sponsor Rachel and press the donate button. 

Thank you, Rachel for your inspiring article.  I wish you well in your fundraising.

Encouraging Thoughts

It's not the day you have to manage, but the moment.
It's not the dragon you have to slay, but the fear.
And it's not the path you have to know, but the destination.

Mike Dooley http://www.tut.com/

Messages from the Universe

I was feeling a bit down in the dumps today.  As I reflected on the week with all of the shoulda, woulda, coulda my mind was filled with too many thoughts. 
The following song came on the radio.

When I shuffled my set of inspirational cards on my desk the following quote came up;

"You can accomplish anything

if you do not accept limitations

whatever you make up your mind to do

 you can do anything".

Definately messages I needed to hear.

Everyday Heros

This may be an unusual blog post but it is related to families in particular, my family.  My elder sister is approaching the milestone birthday of 60 and was considering ways to celebrate this special birthday. 

After much consideration and following many questions from family and friends as to how she would celebrate this momentous occasion, Linda decided to do something very drastic, Shave her head!!!

At her birthday party for all of her guests to see, Linda will shave her head to raise money to help OCRF (Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation) fund research into an early detection program for ovarian cancer.  So why is she doing this?  Our darling mum passed away 2 years ago from ovarian cancer and Linda has decided to shave her head to support this very worthwhile cause in memory of our mum.

If you would like to sponsor my sister, Linda, please click on the link below

Everyday Heros website

Thank you for your support.

New Horizons

As the New Year began I considered what I wanted to achieve.  Feeling like I needed a project or something creative to inspire me and build my enthusiasm, I pondered returning to study, becoming involved in some sort of youth outreach or doing something creative on the home front such as sewing or photography. 

Being time poor with regard to adding anything new to my already busy life, it suddenly dawned on me to extend my current volunteering role in ToughLove to a leadership role.  Having been a member of ToughLove for over a year now I felt that it was time to take on new challenges and assist at a group leadership and perhaps Queensland Management level.  I have now had the title of Public Relations Officer for Corinda group bestowed upon me.  It is a great honour and one which I take very seriously.  I have always been enthusiastic about marketing and public relations especially when it is for a cause which I am passionate about.   I am a true advocate of ToughLove, the support and information which it provides.  It does work!!!  As Public Relations Officer for the group I will be promoting our group and the ToughLove program to schools and the community at large.

When I first came to ToughLove I was desperate for a solution as many other parents are, when faced with such challenges as teenager turmoil, drug or alcohol related violence and mental health, psychotic episodes, to name just a few.  I remember sitting patiently listening to the information given at orientation, all the while wanting a quick fix, an instant solution to turn my feral teenager back to the beautiful innocent little blue eyed girl she once was.