Teenagers, Turmoil and Tributes

This is not what I would normally put in a blog post, but as we approach Christmas, a time of celebration with family, it is also a time to reflect on the year as it draws to a close.

I have had many challenges this year particularly with the prodigal teenage daughter. This challenge continues but at least I have the additional support of other parents going through similar turmoil with their teenagers. I refer to Tough Love, a great group of volunteers who support each other while they battle the challenges of giving tough love to their teenagers who have made poor choices.

As I look outside it is again another grey and rainy day. About 6 weeks ago I felt compelled to write some words, words which were reflective of my mood at the time. I would like to share these with you…….

The world seems grey
The grey skies a reflection of my sorrow
The heavens weep tears for a soul who has left this mortal world
I am surrounded by people
Yet I feel so alone in my grief

I dedicate this blog post in memory of my mum, Pamela, who passed away on 30th September 2010 after a two year battle with cancer.

I have been blessed with the support of family and very good friends and work colleagues. I thank you all for your support during this very sad time. I wish you all a safe and happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year. I look forward to 2011 with renewed hope and an inner strength gained from the resilience of facing challenges thrust upon me during 2010.

Teenager adds mum on Facebook

You know that you have your teenagers trust when they add you as a friend on Facebook. This happened last week when my youngest child finally allowed me to become her Facebook friend. I have been very careful not to betray that trust by reframing from writing comments that may embarrass her. In fact I haven't been game to write or comment on anything at the moment. She has been waiting for me to write about her in my blog and so here is her opportunity to shine and be a feature in my blog. At age 15 she is a very focussed young lady wanting to become a personal trainer. She is embarking on study next year to achieve that goal. She assures me that she will be dedicated and focused and be better at getting her homework and assignments done in time. She has a great passion for helping kids who struggle with weight problems and I am sure she will achieve this goal. Rachel's aim is to be on "The Biggest Loser" as the coach. So move over Michelle, Rachel has her sights set. I am extremely proud of my daughter and wish her well in her future study and career.

Tough Love in progress!

Some time back I posted an article on Tough Love. While it has taken me a few months, I finally plucked up courage to attend my first Tough Love meeting. I was very impressed by the professional way the meeting was structured and run. After a very thorough induction process explaining the rules, guidelines and focus of the group, I joined the main group. While there were opportunities to share our own experiences, the focus of the evening was to learn new ways to build our own strategies with confidence and support of other parents going through similar situations. I have homework to do, a book to read (just a short one) and a goal for the week. I will keep you posted on my progress.

Inspiring teenagers, our future leaders

I had the privilege of witnessing some very inspirational teenagers go through a rite of passage as they completed their final school year, well almost – 1 week to go. I refer to the awards night (some may know this as speech night) of a school which although having some challenges over the past year continues to inspire and equip its students to achieve incredible things. This was evident in a celebration of the achievements of students from prep through to year 12. The evening while full of encouragement and accolades for students also showcased student achievements with performances from the colorful and always cute year ones to the traditional final performance by the year 12s and all of this within a 2 hour timeslot thanks to the organization skills in particular of the deputy principal and teachers. For me one of the highlights of the evening was the year 12’s final performance of the song “I Believe” performed in the movie “Honey”. What an incredible finish to their school life. The students while somewhat restricted in their movements as they were dressed in their formal school uniforms still produced an inspirational rendition of the song and dance. Great axel James!!!

I wish all of the year 12s every success in their future lives. You have been given a great start by a school that cares not just about your schooling but cares about you.

Well done our future leaders you are truly amazing.

Teenager turns a corner?

My nearly out of her teens teenager has turned a corner. Maybe. She had moved back home for a while although spent more time away from the family home only returning in our absence to devour the contents of the fridge and create a heap of dirty dishes disappearing again like a thief in the night. She came home the other evening waving a lease document, with her name on it, in front of our eyes. With, I am hoping genuine heartfelt regret for her more recent horrible behaviour, she announced that she had found somewhere to live and has a job interview next week at a workplace nearby to the not so new abode which she will share with two other people we have never met before. So has she turned a corner or is she driving us around the bend yet again? Watch this space!!!

Talented teenagers take to the ice

Over the last few days many talented teenagers and younger competed in the state titles of the Figure Skating Championships in ice skating at the Boondall ice skating rink. The state representative team was selected from this group of skaters who competed in one or more areas of ice skating including figure, synchronised, ice dance and pairs. The team will represent Queensland at the national figure skating titles to be held in Melbourne in late November this year. Congratulations to the very talented ice skaters who competed over the last 4 days. Well done to all who participated.

Tough Love for Teenagers

I started this blog as a sort of therapy and hopefully assistance to other parents going through the challenges of dealing with wayward teenagers. A very good friend of mine showed me an article in the Saturday newspaper recently. It was about a parent support group called Toughlove. This is just what I have been looking for and so I am sharing information from their website with you asI feel that it says it all. I have also put a link to their website in the links section.

TOUGHLOVE was started in the 1970's by Phyllis and David York. The Yorks were family therapists who worked in one of the most famous drug and alcohol rehabs of its time, training counselors, working with clients and their families, and conducting a private practice in addition to being State Drug and Alcohol Trainers for Pennsylvania.

While they were gaining acclaim as experts in their fields, they were suffering the same kinds of problems we all have here - their kids were out of control. They tried everything - counseling, therapy for the kids, themselves, the family, private school, judo lessons, riding lessons, getting tougher, more permissive, more understanding, etc.

Nothing worked, and things got worse until their daughter was arrested for armed robbery. Then the Yorks asked other adults to intervene for them. They took a STAND that said, "We will not tolerate a criminal in our house."