Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tough Love for teenagers continues
In November I wrote about going to my first Tough Love Support group meeting. I have been to several meetings since then and now feel very at home in this supportive environment. Each week this group offers support and an opportunity to debrief after a challenging week with a troubled teenager. Also each week there is an opportunity to learn more about how we communicate with each other. last week was my turn to research a topic and present it to the group. It wasn't such a daunting task as it involved reading through the book and finding an area which was of interest to me, something that I could share with the group.
One of the subjects I chose to speak about was Personal Power.
Personal Power - ability to control your own life and influence your own environment. It is NOT about controlling others and making them do what you want.
Personal Power is about
• Making choices
• Developing alternatives
• Setting limits
• Refusing to be treated inconsiderately
• Developing support for yourself
• Acting rather than reacting
• Giving up taking responsibility for others
• Giving up accepting consequences for others
Near the end of the chapter that I had researched were the following words
YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR THEIR APPROVAL
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THEIR COOPERATION
These words resonated with me as did the words of our support group leader when he spoke about valuing ourselves.
I suddenly realised that I had actually been trying to seek approval from all of my teenagers for the decisions that I needed to make. Time to rethink, regain strength and value myself as a parent and as a person.