I was delighted a while back when my 15 year old daughter decided to finally let me become her Facebook friend. I dutifully did not pass personal comments about her Facebook status or posts. However by being a Facebook friend to my older daughter, otherwise know as the prodigal daughter or the ToughLove kid, I was able to at least get some indication of where she was and what she was doing. I made the mistake of talking to her about a trip to Melbourne that she had planned after I had seen lots of comments from her and her friends about the possible trip. She gave a very non commital answer. Not long after this I was no longer her Facebook friend or my younger daughters. She and her younger sister also dropped Facebook friend status with anyone that I was also friends with including their brother.
I had not heard from my elder daughter for 3 weeks even though I had tried ringing and txting her phone that she said didn't work or did not turn on. She eventually rang my younger daughter to tell her she was in Melbourne and would be home in a week. No doubt she will drop back into our lives if and when she chooses to with the expectation of free bed and lodging and food with nothing in return. Based on past performance there will be no offers to assist with cooking meals, tidying the house, cleaning or whatever.
Now don't get me wrong, I would be more than happy for her to pack her things up and move out and make a life of her own. She is nearly 21 after all. I would celebrate this right of passage with her. However the current situation is full of uncertainty, we are being a crutch providing for someone who has no intention of getting a job as she prefers to live a Peter Pan existence of being forever young and having forever fun.
Time for a big change. Look out for the next post in the ToughLove for Teenagers series.
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