Daughter finds freedom to fly

My ToughLove kid has turned a corner. Although in another city, she contacts me by phone or text message not because she wants something but because she wants to share with me some of her day to day life experiences. She is taking responsibility and making better life choices for herself. She has come a long way, struggling to eke out an existence, seeking ways for self improvement, looking after herself and maintaining her living environment.

She assists her community and herself through volunteering.

My daughter has grown wings to fly, building confidence and finding freedom to choose her own destiny.

I am so proud of you Kim. You have found who you are.

You know you're a Cool Parent when. . . . . .

When I first started this blog in June 2010 I wrote a post on 5 tips to being a cool parent. One year on here are 5 tips on when you know you’re a cool parent.

1. Driving in the car with your teenager with Lady Gaga playing LOUD!!!
2. Accepting that your eldest child (living away from home) now has 2 rats for pets.
3. Acknowledging that your 20 year old looks pretty with her hair dyed pink.
4. Being able to see beyond the piercings and tattoos to see the real person in your child and their friends.
5. When your 20 year old initiates more regular contact with you and the conversation is pleasant and encouraging.

Thank you ToughLove for your support and encouragement in helping me build confidence in myself and in the decisions that I make regarding the parenting of my teenagers and older children.

ToughLove is a parent support group which I have found extremely helpful in dealing with challenging teenagers. Click on the title of this blog post to go to the ToughLove Australia website.

Time out to enjoy life

Here are two of my favourite quotes which I wanted to share with you.

"Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt,
sing like no one is listening,
and live like it's heaven on earth."
William Purkey

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths that we take
but the number of moments that take our breath away.”
Author unknown

The quotes speak for themselves. How often do we get so caught up in busyness that we miss the precious moments that take our breath away in the midst of our frenetic pace of life.

I am taking a bit of a break, some timeout to rest, recharge, re-energise, re-evaluate, rejuvenate, regenerate and rejoice in life because it is too short and every moment should be enjoyed.

I have been listening to Luka Bloom of late. I found this clip and the words spoke to me. Enjoy!!!

Thank You 1000+ visitors

According to my stat counter I have now had over one thousand unique visitors to my blog. This is truly amazing!!! When I started this blog 12 months ago, I barely knew what a blog was.

It has certainly been a steep learning curve but I have learnt a lot as I blogged and shared my trials, tribulations and triumphs with you, my blog visitors from around the globe and for this I truly thank you for your interest and for your support. I started this blog as a means of debriefing after challenging times with my teenagers. However after I discovered the Tough Love support group I have also used this blog to promote this very valuable and worthwhile organisation.

So thank you again to all of my blog visitors for joining me in my journey of discovery in the challenging role of parenting teenagers.

As parents of teenagers are we too busy?

Last Friday I rose at 5.15am drove my children to and from the ice rink, twice, got my car assessed for repair, went to the bank, assisted with setting up a garage sale for a fundraising charity event and managed to squeeze in a visit to my GP for health checkups which has now led to more scans checks and specialist visits mostly due to the 3F’s Fifty, Flabby and Family history – all of this achieved by 1pm on my day off. Ok so I did manage to have lunch with a friend after that and make yet another trip to the ice rink. I work full time and so I took a day off work to fit all of this in. I think we as parents are incredibly busy. We need to take stock and see if we can work smarter rather than harder. It is all about work life balance. Make the most of life but remember to take time to smell the roses.

The Prodigal Not So Teenage Daughter has left home

Well the Prodigal Daughter has left home and hitch hiked her way to Melbourne. Fortunately she arrived safely. I spoke to her a few times during the week and asked if she had definately moved out as she had left again without any good-byes and was not around for her younger sister's birthday again much to her little sisters sadness.

The prodigal daughter has now given me permission to sort through her things and pack up usable items and permission to dicard non usable or ruined items left lying around cluttering up the house.

While this exercise in cleaning up is cathartic it is also one which brings mixed emotions of sadness to see a beautiful caring person with so much potential so hell bent on being oppositionally defiant that she has chosen a life of poverty and self focus over one of family support. This is entirely her choice and so as I pack up and clean up all of her stuff yet again I will set her free and send her things to her, readdress her mail for a while and let her live her life the way she choses without rescuing her so that she can learn by her mistakes and become a responsible self sufficient adult, one day.

Mothers' Day memories: From Toddlers to Teenagers

As we approach Mother's Day, I seem to have been surrounded by doting parents and their young children eagerly participating in weekend activities together. I think back to a time when I too was captured by the excitement of each mini milestone made by my children. I even have a recording of my children talking, recorded over a period of time for prosperity. Sounds of crying babies, children making animal sounds on cue, nursery rhymes and cheeky chatter bring memories flooding back.

When did life start getting so serious that as a parent of teenagers my concerns are no longer about toilet training, toddler tantrums and timeout but now involve more complex issues. My life now revolves around providing a teenager taxi service, teenagers obsession with Face Book and texting, emotional hormonal driven outbursts, theirs and mine, driving lessons, accruing driving hours, alcohol consumption and wondering where on earth my tough love teenager is and wondering if she is safe and well.

Sadly this is my first Mother’s Day without my mum which is perhaps the reason for the introspective contemplation.

I would like to wish all of the mums out there a very Happy Mothers’ Day. I hope that your families dote on you for a change. I am reminded of a quote which I have on a fridge magnet. “Mothers hold their children’s hands for a while but hold their hearts forever.”